Doing some last minute Christmas shopping? Let me share with you a lesson that can save you from learning it the hard way.
Interested in what not to give for Christmas? Don’t buy someone else a self help book as a gift.
Almost 11 years ago, when my wife and I were first married, I asked myself “Jon, what would be a good gift to buy your new wife? Well, I like books (especially self improvement). Let’s get her an improvement book about…
Marriage.
So I settled on Dr. Laura’s “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.”
Home run, right?
Yeah, not so much.
(This book still sits unread, unopened, on the shelf 11 years later).
So while you have probably heard “it’s the thought that counts” make sure you are actually thinking before you give a gift like this!
Even if you have the best intentions, there is a strong chance it can be misunderstood.
It is also important to point out that when giving to others, it must be selfless. I stood to gain (a lot) from my wife reading this book.
What does that say about my motives?
I think the equivalent gift to give back to me would have been a book titled: “How to Stop Thinking About Your Self All The Time, Quit Acting Like You Are Always Right, and Pick Up After Yourself.”
Then again, that sounds like something I might enjoy reading…
Hmmmm….maybe I can re-gift that Dr. Laura book.
(Naah, I’d better not).
Haha, I love it. Gifts are tricky things. 25 years ago my dad gave my mother a camera fro Christmas that he had been wanting….we still get to hear about it at least a couple times a year.
You’re right though that a gift needs to be selfless. A great reminder, especially timely!
So Brady, that sounds like the gift that keeps giving…add household appliances to the list as well.
Jon, you are hilarious! Cracked me up at 5:46 a.m. You’re a quick study. And, I have to agree w/ you, although I have been quite capable of making the same mistake!! Thanks for the laughs.
Karen – notice that I did not say that I never repeated this error….
This is such a great post! What one person likes does not mean another person would like or enjoy, especially when it comes to self-help or growth books.
When I was a youth leader I once gave box (That was wrapped in duck tape) with candy in inside of it. It took at least 1/2 hours for them to open the box.
Dan, I appreciate the duct tape box gift! Make them work for that candy!
Frankly, most ‘bad’ gifts I’ve ever given had more to do with me (often unknowingly) getting something that actually served myself or were a subtle ‘self-improvement’ dig at the person to whom I was giving those gifts. Books on how to improve certain parts of the lives of others are best left for the other 11 months of the year.
oops. Guilty.
Great perspective about the other 11 months, David – still, as they say, Proceed with Caution! here’s a good follow up post – https://jondharrison.com/2014/01/08/jerk-cycle/